Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Smoking Hot Wife

Am trying to stay on top of things Christian.  Trying to be like Issachar.  Trying to have an understanding of the times... to know what Israel ought to do (1 Chronicles 12:32).
So now and again I take a look at the stuff in Christianity Today's her-meneutics.  Stuff they send me by e-mail.  Stuff written by women. Christian Women- Cultural Comment is the sub-heading of that stuff.  And I often find myself disappointed by where they are heading..

And their latest article is pretty much a repeat of their current blowing with the wind.  Little more than twaddle pandering to our culture bent on 'feelings'.  Yet I do agree with their title- I'm Sick of Hearing About Your  Smoking Hot Wife.   I'm sick of it as well.  I don't like to see that idolatry either... still I'm delighted to hear that their wives actually take delight in them.

Which is something that the author of this article seems incapable of delighting in.  Incapable of delighting in intimacy with her husband.  What a shame.

We read that the author remains essentially 'frigid after 22 years of marriage' due to some bad childhood experience.  Due to being violated by boys (not men) at the age of five.  Yet she claims to have received a "smidgen of healing" after recently writing an "open letter of anger to her molesters".
What a false sense of healing.  What a false sense of coming out.  What a false sense of closure.

Why can't she just believe Jesus when He says that, 'whatever enters a girl does not defile her'? No matter when, where or how it enters her she is NOT defiled- Mark 7:18.  Or does she feel guilty because she might have remembered actually enjoying the attention?  Feel defiled by the joy that actually came out of her?
Regardless, all we seem to get is a pity party and whining in her article.  And no real argument against those she is sick of hearing from.  No real argument against the trust and obedience commanded by scripture either.  Just a bunch of idolatry to her feelings.  A much worse type of idolatry... an idolatry to self.

So DeMuth continues to deprive her husband of a Smoking Hot Wife.  Struggles to put on lingerie.  Then spiritually "disconnects from the act of sex".  And holds "sex on demand" in contempt.  Apparently she believes that her body still belongs to her self- even when she is married.

Yet we are told that she has healed so much since her "terrifying wedding night" (yet she only recognized her problem after 12 years of marriage and 2 years of counseling). So why can't I see the healing here?  Christians should be embarrassed to call this a healing.  Christ is so much bigger than that. 

Now, I may sound insensitive and unsympathetic to her abuse- but I'm not.  Been there, done that as a child- yet I truly have been healed...  and it didn't take 22 years.  And if you read between the lines her husband actually continues to think, 'get over it you baby Christian, what is your real problem?'

Why can't she see that ALL people are sinful?  That ALL people are abusive?  And that her current abuse of her husband is sinful too?

And the recommendations that she gives to other abused women?  Insipid and tepid.  Not worth a spit.  Even the most biblical recommendation (#3) starts with "Take care of yourself".  UN-huh.

But isn't that the problem- that we only want to take care of our self?  Isn't that her sin- that she doesn't want to love her husband as herself? That she would rather be a dud in bed?

And we see her excuses so clearly.  Excuses that hold her husband responsible for her healing- urging him to examine his childhood for insensitivity.   Holding her mother responsible for her "insensitivity".  And holding her divorced father responsible for his appreciation of "nudes". 
What a bunch of Freudian blame-shifting.  This looks just like another case of Patty Bonds to me.  Self-imposed bondage from false memories.  Attractive memories that she cannot forgive or forget.

And all the counseling in the world won't heal DeMuth.  DeMuth will only truly heal when she holds herself responsible... completely responsible.
DeMuth will only truly heal when she becomes truly grateful for the abuse that drove her to Jesus.     Yes, you heard me- be grateful for the effect of the cause.  Be grateful for the cause that effected her coming to Jesus in the first place.  And start claiming victory instead of victim.
DeMuth will only truly heal when she sees that not only were those that abused her (mere children!) vile sinners- but that she was (and remains) an equally vile sinner.  That she is COMPLETELY unworthy of His finished work of healing... and she will be healed.

Please remember, that hers is not a physical condition but rather a psychotic condition!

In closing, since DeMuth seems so entranced by analogies let me offer one.  Let me offer something a little parabolic.  Something a little more biblical than her 'gardening' or 'diving board' analogies.  Something that would be helpful for her to add to her up-coming self-help book:

     There once was a Man of Passion.  Whose passion knew no bounds.  So he spread his passion around, before bounding off on a journey.

Some folks He gave a lot of passion and some He gave a little- according to their ability... and then He watched it multiply.
In some, their passion doubled.  In some it even tripled.  In one it remained the same.

To that one He asked, "Why did my passion not grow?  Have you lost My passion?"
That one replied,  "I know you are a harsh taskmaster and I was not willing to lose your passion.  So I buried it in a safe place, for when you returned from your journey."

The taskmaster then ordered His passion to be taken from that one- and to be given to the more passionate ones.  
And the door to the wedding feast was shut on this non-smoking girl.


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